Monday, December 01, 2008

My eyes have never dried since she left

25th Nov 2008

My eyes have never dried since she left

How does one go about describing what it is like to be married to the perfect mate for almost 32 years? How does one describe the loss of a person like Girija?

I think, my dear wife, Girija, is not dead, but on vacation in some beautiful land – where she is resting, rejuvenating and walking in that beautiful flower garden. I do not believe she is dead.

Or else, she is just taking a prolonged afternoon nap

If I were a painter, I would have perhaps painted a picture of her – just to feel her lasting presence. If I were a carpenter, I would have made a very nice showpiece.

But, I am just remembering a wonderful wife.

I recall the day when she became seriously ill and I rushed her to the Malar Hospital on 24th Nov 2007. She was treated in the ICU for about 1 ½ days but she never recovered and breathed her last at 515 pm on 25th Nov.

She died of complications due to Diabetes and it is so sad. And I could not wrestle with God.

Girija was more than a wife to me. She was also a friend, philosopher and guide. Ours was truly a marriage that was chosen by God, and made first in heaven before on this earth. . It was God’s love, and our love for each other that made our marriage what it was. We both thought and told each other that the other one was our personal blessing from God. I know that I am a lucky person, because of all of the men in this world, God allowed me to marry Girija.

We never quarreled. For the 32 years we were married, my wife never offended me. I know it sounds unbelievable, but we never quarreled, neither did we have any domestic misunderstandings.

Besides being such a great wife, she was the best mom I know. She was dedicated to giving our two daughters the gift of being children.

She was so committed to their health, to their confidence, to their kindness, to their faith, to their love for family and most of all their happiness. She will do anything for them, always with a smile to make the children happy.

She was loved by the whole family and so many other people. She was a perfect host to scores of relatives and friends on so many occasions. I think that most people will remember two things about Girija. One she always had worn a smile, and two her love for other people.

At her funeral, all these relatives and friends came to witness her departure. It was very moving.

A lot has changed since my wife passed away. She organised the home– everything ran smoothly, like a well-oiled machine. It is amazing that men build railways across continents, they build ships and cars, but they cannot sew a single button on their shirts! She was just wonderful.

Girija, thank you for being such a great mother, wife, partner and best friend.

I am not embarrassed about getting emotional as I talk about my Girija.

Sometimes I would have to stop doing whatever I was doing because I would become too emotional. Since she left, my eyes have never dried. I would cry secretly and then carry on working once I had recovered. Losing a spouse is not an easy thing.

Indeed, my wife’s death has taken a heavy toll on me psychologically. I could not sleep on many days and when I slept, strange dreams have become part of my life. Last night, for instance, we ate dinner together. She had prepared a wonderful meal. When we were done I took the dishes to the kitchen, but when I came back she was nowhere to be seen, only for me to wake up and find it was just a dream.

Sometimes I am in deep grief; I feel like a walking dead person.

But, I am thankful to God, my darling daughters, affectionate sons in law and the lovely grandsons have been very supportive as I continue to mourn the death of my dear Girija.

Wherever she is, I believe we are still together.

My eyes have never dried since she left.

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